Dear reader,
It's about time I wrote something without the Search Engine in mind and share some thoughts. Most of you don't know me, but I can assure you that it will be hard to forget my name in the future. Some of us are born without a choice. I was bipolar without a choice, and I became borderline because I was bipolar, once again without much choice. So, since you are here, welcome to my Borderpolar world.
This post is not about people like me. This post is about people born with a choice that was taken away by someone else. Most of these victims don't belong to the adult male category. However, a significant part of them consists of young males long before they turn to men. But the majority of these people are female.
In my 32 around this world, I have met more troubled women than most people would meet in multiple lifetimes. I can assure you that I made most of those women even more troubled, and they made me what I am today. There was one common denominator among all these women, though. They encountered disturbing men. And even if some of them had a choice, I think that choice would be very different and knew the full story.
The full story would be “if you come to my place, I will rape you,” “if you come to my place, I will have sex with you and then kick you out,” “if you send me nudes, I will then upload them online to humiliate you,” “if we have sex I will record it with or without your consent, and then I will do whatever with it without your consent.”
Being controlled by someone else is a terrible feeling. I know because my brain is controlled by my illness(es), and sometimes that brain wants me to die (sic).
To get to the point, the world of men is an industry that's been going around for thousands of years. The main products this industry produces are scarred women, scarred boys that turn to disturbing men, children that are always under constant pressure to suppress who they are. A byproduct of this world is troubled people like me, who, in their self-centered effort to “help,” end up creating an endless circle of destruction.
The World of Men
Based on what I have seen in my life, a significant portion of men take pleasure in humiliating others just for fun as a form of self-empowerment. I have seen the same behavior in women, but I believe it's just a minority, and in fact, I believe this behavior targets mostly other women.
Now let's look at some facts:
- A 2000 global study on homicide by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime found that men accounted for about 96 percent of all homicide perpetrators worldwide.
- According to Rashford University 88.6% of the serials killers in the past 11 decades internationally were men. In the US 90.2% of the serial killers during the same period were men. And yes in most decades the majority of them were white, dear fellow white man/woman.
Some equally important statistics from End Abuse of People with Disabilities and the Central MN Sexual Assault Center:
Women
- 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed rape; 2.8% attempted rape).
- 9 of every 10 rape victims were female in 2003.
Lifetime rate of rape/attempted rape for women by race
- All women: 17.6%
- White women: 17.7%
- Black women: 18.8%
- Asian Pacific Islander women: 6.8%
- American Indian/Alaskan women: 34.1%
Men
- About 3% of American men – or 1 in 33 – have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.
- In 2003, 1 in every ten rape victims were male.
- 2.78 million men in the U.S. have been victims of sexual assault or rape.
Children
- 15% of sexual assault and rape victims are under age 12.
- 12-34 are the highest risk years.
- Girls ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.
- 7% of girls in grades 5-8 and 12% of girls in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused.
- 3% of boys grades 5-8 and 5% of boys in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused.
- In 1995, local child protection service agencies identified 126,000 children who were victims of either substantiated or indicated sexual abuse. Of these, 75% were girls.
- Nearly 30% of child victims were between the age of 4 and 7.
- 93% of juvenile sexual assault victims know their attacker.
- 34.2% of attackers were family members.
- 58.7% were acquaintances.
- Only 7% of the perpetrators were strangers to the victim.
People with Disabilities
- 80% of women and 30% of men with intellectual disabilities have been sexually assaulted. 50% of those women have been assaulted more than ten times (Sobsey & Doe, 1991; Sorenson, 2000)
- 83% of women with disabilities will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime (Stimpson & Best, 1991). Only 3% of sexual abuse cases involving people with developmental disabilities are ever reported (Valenti-Hein and Schwartz, 1995).
- 3 times more likely to experience violent victimization as adolescents and adults
- 3 times more likely to experience rape, sexual assault, aggravated assault, and robbery
- 3 times more likely to be sexually abused as children
- 1.6 times more likely to experience abuse or neglect as children
- 1.5 times more likely to experience repeated abuse or neglect as children
You can find even more at the National Sexual Violence Resource Center but here is another interesting one:
Crime reports
Rape is the most under-reported crime; 63% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police. Only 12% of child sexual abuse is reported to the authorities. The prevalence of false reporting is between 2% and 10%. For example, a study of eight U.S. communities, which included 2,059 cases of sexual assault, found a 7.1% rate of false reports. A study of 136 sexual assault cases in Boston found a 5.9% rate of false reports. Researchers studied 812 reports of sexual assault from 2000-03 and found a 2.1% rate of false reports.
Sexual Offenders Gender Distribution
Here are some statistics from “A Review of Sexual Recidivism Rates of Adult Female Offenders:”
| Study | Sample | Type of Sexual Crime | Proportion Female (# Female / Total) |
|---|---|---|---|
| Kong et al. (2003) | Canada, 2002 | Sexual offenses reported to police | 3.0% (813/27,094) |
| U.S. Department of Justice (2003) | The U.S.A., 2002 | Persons arrested – Forcible rape – Other sexual offenses | 1.4% (278/20,162) 8.3% (5,599/67,833) |
| Home Office (2004) | England & Wales, 2003 | Found guilty or cautioned for a sexual offense | 1.8% (100/5,700) |
| Australia Bureau of Statistics (2005) | Australia, 2004 | Sexual assault and related offences adjudicated by Higher Court | 7.9% (107/1,394) |
| New Zealand Department of Corrections (2003) | New Zealand, 2001 | Sexual violence and other sexual offenses: Census of inmates | 0.6% (6/1,078) |
The Online World of Men
Now let's take this to the online world, sex, nudity, and the adult industry. I believe all genders can manifest similarly depraved sexual desires, and one could argue that sexual encounters that involve the invasion/penetration of another individual's body provide some kind of self-empowerment. But I also believe one gender is far more inclined towards achieving empowerment in harmful ways than all others.
If you are a man reading this, have you ever worried that a woman you shared nudes with or recorded a sexual encounter with would upload it anywhere online? Personally, I have never had such concerns. Most women I have met had, though. Why?
I don't believe there is any logical reason to expose yourself online other than achieving fame and making money. People that expose themselves online to be humiliated intentionally should probably seek help.
This brings us to the simple observation that exposing someone else and humiliating them can be “logical” if there is money involved. As I said, men can do this just for fun in what I consider a succumbtion to their animalistic insticts . However, the companies men build will do the same thing for profit. That profit is made by empowering criminal behaviors and exploiting victims.
Adult Site Founders and Owners
So, who are the people behind these companies? Let's see:
- According to Wikipedia the founders of MindGeek, the company that owns and operates more than 100 popular pornographic websites, including video sharing services Pornhub, RedTube, and YouPorn, as well as adult film production companies Brazzers, Digital Playground, Men.com, Reality Kings, Sean Cody, and WhyNotBi.com, among others are the following:
- Feras Antoon
- David Marmorstein Tassillo
- Bernard Bergemar
- Leonardo DaSilva
- I only found one name for xHamster:
- Mardiros Haladjian
- XVideos was founded by Stephane Michael Pacaud. According to The Next Web, Court filings also indicate that the individuals behind WGCZ Holding, Stephane Michael Pacaud and Deborah Malorie Pacaud, are also responsible for XNXX.
- LiveJasmin is owned by Docler Holding, owned by György Gattyán.
- YouJizz is owned by IG Media, essentially a ghost company.
- Chaturbate is based in Orange County, California, but the owners remain unknown.
- OnlyFans was founded by Tim Stokely.
- According to RockerReach and Linkedin, MYM.fans' co-founder is Pierre Garonnaire.
Most adult websites owners are men, untraceable or both.
Pornhub's Legal Trouble
So, in a new lawsuit filed in June, 34 women accused Pornhub of profiting from videos posted without their consent. In December 2020, Pornhub started using third-party verification of its members and essentially became a professional adult entertainment network, removing all amateur videos (as far as I know).
Michael Bowe, the lawyer representing the alleged victims, said on a conference call with reporters that the online pornography industry “has operated like an old-school red-light district of commerce where rules that do apply and should be applied haven't been applied.”
“The online porn industry has essentially been the Red Light District of commerce,” Bowe said. “This new industry of online porn, for the last 10 years, has been allowed by law enforcement, government entities, to operate by a different set of rules. Basically, no rules or oversight.”
“This case is not about porn, it's about rape. This is a legitimate industry that consenting people have every right to participate in. It just needs to be done legally and not with illegal content.”
Of the 34 women suing the company, 14 said they were underage in videos uploaded to PornHub, and 14 were victims of people charged or convicted of sex crimes.
“People,” or men?
Here is what one of the victims, Isabella (pseudonym) stated:
Isabella said more than 200,000 people ultimately watched the video – “including everybody at my college, pretty much,” she said.Â
“The view count on the video will forever haunt my dreams,” she said. “Just knowing that that many people saw it really messed me up.”
After learning how many people had seen her video on Pornhub, she said she battled with a sense of shame and worthlessness and had to transfer schools.
She couldn't look in a mirror for six months and drew into isolation, she said, fearful that people at her new school would recognize her.Â
Aubrey (pseudonym) learned about the video from a friend in 2018, after she said it had garnered more than 400,000 views.
“I will never, ever be able to recover the emotional pain that this has caused me,” Aubrey said. “It truly, truly was a living nightmare. I – I didn't – everybody had seen everything about me. And that's just – that's a very private moment. And it's a very vulnerable moment. And it's just – it's hard to come to terms with. That the world has seen that.”
Aubrey said she struggled to convince Pornhub to remove her video. Emails reviewed by CBS News show that after she contacted the company to tell them the video was not taken consensually, a Pornhub representative challenged her.
He asked, “Are you the female in the video? How do you know this is you?”
Aubrey responded, “I know this is me by several things. That is my bed, I have a mole on my right hip, that is my face, my voice, THAT IS ME and I am pissed.”
After a three-day exchange, Pornhub took down the video, but even then, Aubrey said she found it posted to other porn websites – renamed and re-uploaded, by users she didn't know.
She said she felt defeated to know that the video was still online. “I felt like everything was taken away from me. And I had no power. I had no say in it. I was completely powerless,” she said.
One victim, Michelle, who is using a pseudonym, said that she was targeted at age 15 by an abuser who has since been convicted of blackmailing children to sexually abuse themselves on camera.
…
Michelle reported the videos to Pornhub during the fall of 2018 and continued flagging content for the site to take down throughout 2019. And although Pornhub took down all unverified content last year, Michele said she continues to find images of her abuse re-uploaded on other websites.
She said, “Any other place I find my videos there's some type of mention of Pornhub or where they originated from, and my name was always with them.”Â
Strangers continue to contact her about her videos, she said, and one man even showed up at her house, telling her that he'd found her through Pornhub.Â
Another victim, Ashley, who is also using a pseudonym to protect her identity, said in August of last year, she learned that Pornhub was hosting a video of her being assaulted while unconscious.Â
She said her then-husband drugged and raped her, and had posted the assault on Pornhub. The video was tagged “sleeping pills,” and she says it had been on the site for three years and racked up tens of thousands of views before she learned of its existence.
…
Even after Pornhub deactivated the original video of her rape, she said the thumbnail image of the video, which shows her unconscious and naked, continues to populate in Google image search results to this day.
The last part is probably the most disgusting one:
One former executive, who worked at MindGeek before the company overhauled its policies, provided information included in the lawsuit against MindGeek.
He said that illegal content was seen as “good” for business. He agreed to be interviewed on the condition of anonymity. He fears retribution.
He said the company favored keeping more content on the site. “I mean, if you offer everything on the site, there is something for everyone,” he said. “The more you have, the better it is. So for all the free sites like Pornhub, more content is always better.”
He said when content was flagged on PornHub, MindGeek often moved it to one of the dozens of other porn sites it owned. “Removed content popped up on all their other sites and no one really cared,” he said.Â
In its statement to CBS News, MindGeek said: “The spread of illegal content is an existential threat to the internet, and every platform has the moral obligation to join the fight against it. Illegal material on the internet harms its victims, internet users and all platforms that operate online. Any suggestion that the company tolerates or celebrates this material is patently false.”
When you are seeking pleasure in watching people exposed in the most vulnerable moments of course these videos will be massive “hits.” And that's exactly what a large part of the audience seeks. Straight-out intrusion to someone's private life.
To get to the point, I don't understand why any website, let alone an adult one, would ever be allowed to allow you to upload and publicize anything unless that media file included your and yourself only. Imagine a world where anyone could upload any adult video without any form of verification of consent for 20 or 25 years. That's our world.
Empowering Females
Meanwhile, Pornhub, Onlyfans, and other similar networks and Instagram try to sell this as female empowerment, accepting female nudity and empowering the female body. A different read says that all they empower is people with suppressed sexual desires who unconcernedly humiliate others. At the same time, they provide a new “career choice,”, especially for young females. Instagram is filled with Greek teenage women who start Onlyfans or Mym.Fans accounts.
These women even show their faces. Then the images and videos get uploaded to free adult websites. Then people find her personal Instagram account. And finally, you see that woman disappearing from the Internet, and it makes you wonder at what mental state she was in when she started all this and whether a young girl could evaluate the possible consequences of such a decision on the rest of her life.
But this is the consensual side of things and the ethics around these practices are still at least questionable.
Pornhub has been around for 14 years. What about all the people – primarily women – that were publicly humiliated online while the company made insane amounts of profit? How can such an organization or any organization that shamelessly distributes non-consensual adult content, or even underage content (unless you actually believe all those girls were 18+) still be allowed to run in 2021?
Even if Pornhub does everything by the book nowadays, this only happened because it was forced to. Eventually, legislation should catch up to such practices, although it's disgusting that it hasn't already, and past violations shouldn't be blatantly hidden under the carpet.
Pornhub is just an example here. There are plenty of adult video sharing platforms where you credit card will be accepted, at which you can find the video Pornhub has now taken down.
Society has been formed in a way that always caters to men's gorilla-like insticts. Prostitution and human trafficking have turned to business, and now they go digital. Nobody evaluates the mental state of adult performers and keep in mind that most adult performers don't make millions. In this gender power play there is a clear winner and exploiter and a clear exploitee. Many men take sexual advantage of women, then other men take advantage of that advantage to profit. Even in our languages, the sexual name-calling mostly revolves around women, there are very few humiliating words about men, unless they are gay, of course.
Even if a large part of the foundation of society is down to biology and male hormones make men susceptible to aggression and predatory behaviors, that's all the more reason for males to be controlled.
I can assure you that most of the stories I have heard from call girls or escorts are not pleasant ones.
If you can't relate to this, you would be surprised at the amount of girls-next-door that have been through hell in “consensual” relationships.
But back to the point with adult video sharing platforms. Nobody cares. Unless you you see a familiar face and that face is your daughter's. And some daughters even commit suicide after such incidents. Like Tiziana Cantone.
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