I am going to mark this day as the first day of the rest of my life. It is a really big day for me and I've been excited about it for the last few days. During the past month I've started feeling happier and happier with myself. It's the first time after almost 15 years that I am alone and I'm finding a purpose in my life instead of frantically searching for one. The emptiness has been filled with something that was already there. I guess that's what I've been missing.
Naturally, as I get calmer and calmer it's easier to reflect on my past with a more clear mind and understand what I was doing wrong. And the more I get educated about bipolar and borderline personality disorder, clearer things become.
Back to Psychotherapy
The past week I decided that my mind is finally in the right place – most of the time at least – and the antidepressants and stabilizers have work and they have calmed me down significantly. So after doing my research I found a new therapist to start focusing on CBT and DBT treatment. I don't know anything more than the basics about CBT and DBT but I'm very optimistic that especially the latter will be very beneficial for me.
It was about time. Today marks the day that I will start being treated for my bipolar disorder and my borderline personality disorder. This is as close I can get to treating what I have instead of other related stuff like depression. Unfortunately, a treatment targeted specifically towards the comorbidity of bpd and bipolar disorder aka borderpolar does not exist yet. And yet, tt's really reassuring for me that for the time in my life I know what is wrong and I am targeting close to that.
I know the path towards stability is going to be a really long – actually a never ending – one. But finally I'm just happy that I'm on the right path. Hopefully I will never look back again. The rest of my life as I'm at last getting more and more control of my mental illness instead of the opposite is beginning. And I've been waiting for a really long time.