My name is Anastasios Antoniadis and I am the creator of Borderpolar Central. I live in Athens, Greece and I am a PhD Student at the University of Athens on Program Analysis. My major was Computer Science. I created Borderpolar Central to share my experiences with people who are interested in mental health and raise awareness. I am a diagnosed bipolar (BD2) with borderline personality disorder (BPD), so I am a “borderpolar”. The diagnosis is very tricky as the two disorders have overlapping symptoms. I don’t think mental illnesses define us but they greatly affect how we act and characterize our actions. Consequently, it’s important to raise awareness about them.
After years of struggle I am coping better and better with my bipolar disorder as antidepressants and stabilizers have worked really well. I have to admit though that a personality disorder is a whole different beast for anyone to fight.
Why Start a Blog?
At the age of 31, I realize that the driving force in my life is communication and expression. Sharing my stories is one way to achieve better understanding of myself and other people.
The lack of communication and understanding is what caused me to lose a lot in the past ten years. Especially very important people. In my last relationship which ended at the start of 2020, I managed to ruin something really special. And harm an equally troubled person who deserved so much more in the process. I now feel the urgency to avoid past mistakes. Sharing my stories is one of the ways that will get me there, because let’s admit it, guilt and self-blame are hard to overcome by yourself. Hopefully this process will benefit more people like me. Or people around us who can be heavily traumatized while being by our side.
As a child I never expected to become a person that is passionate about nothing but people. By that I mean that I have no definition of myself and my needs when not being around other people, either friends, colleagues or a romantic partner. I can only sustain a temporary interest in things. Long-term goals and dreams are beyond the scope of my mind. This is something I am trying to improve by reigniting my old interests. While also abandoning the ones I had while in search of superficial social approval.
In 2013 I purchased a DSLR to begin my journey with photography. That journey got postponed pretty soon due to my terrible mental and physical condition. Up until May 2020 I had never used any other mode than “auto” on my camera. I can finally say that my journey as an amateur photographer has started. Step by step I am getting better at it, allowing me to do even more exciting things.
At the same time the huge improvement in smartphone photography and the potential for shooting the night sky with just a smartphone has ignited my interest in astrophotography and astronomy.
My greatest passion at the moment though is psychology and psychiatry. A series of bad decisions along with being misdiagnosed and consequently untreated for my mental illness lead to a path where I completely lost interest in living and I lost the most important person in my life. Something has to change for me to become a much healthier and more stable individual and never go through this spiral of madness again.
So, I created Borderpolar Central. The creation of this blog is part of my effort to understand myself and become a better person.
So this is the story of where I am now. And at times I feel this might as well be my last chance to achieve stability and regain control of my life. I’m not going to waste it. And hopefully other people will join the effort.
I created Borderpolar Central as a personal journey, but now I have found slightly greater cause. Borderpolars, people with both borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder are not aware of the importance of the comorbidity of the illnesses, for the most part. Mental health awareness makes a huge difference though.
My goal is to try to make this condition popular so that more people realize that it’s something different than having only bipolar disorder or only borderline personality disorder. It may require special treatment, treatment that has not been researched enough yet. I want to make #borderpolar popular and I want it to be used along #bpd and #bipolar as it’s both a superset and something slightly different at the same time. Mental health matters, a lot! Let’s raise awareness and erase the stigma!